Couples want the relationship to return to a trusting, loving, and happy state. The sex addiction issue has put a strain on couples and people start to question if all the work is worth it.
Stop the Cheating
One of the first things asked during a consultation with couples centers around one question: Will the person with the infidelity ever be able to stop the cheating? The answer is kind of frustrating: MAYBE. Some people need as many treatment options as possible. If you do the work in therapy and have a good support system, it can help lead to sobriety.
Sex Addiction Relapse
Some partners ask, “Is the person not doing the work if they relapse?”. I have seen clients work very hard in recovery, but sometimes, there is a return to bad patterns that were familiar. One omission within a couple can turn into two lies or more which can turn into a situation with out of control behavior. This leads to both partners feeling helpless, hopeless, ashamed and/or guilty.
People make various choices after a relapse.
- Some give up
- Some look for triggers or stressors
- Some turn to every piece of information gained through therapy, groups, a sponsor, and couple counseling.
These last 2 are the best responses.
Chances of a Sex Addict Getting Better
Others ask, “Will some people never get better and can you tell if that is my partner?”. It actually depends on a number of factors.
- How active is the person in their treatment program?
- How long have they been dealing with this issue?
- Does the person have a strong support network at home and in the treatment program?
What is Sex Addiction
What are the signs that your partner is a sex addict? Recognizing that there is a problem is crucial.
Addiction can have a negative impact on someone’s life. It can cause financial drain on family, broken trust with couples, and children may be disappointed or fearful that the family will break-up. Work quality and quantity is poor, personal mental health such as depression and anxiety starts to develop or increase, spiritual life may be neglected, friends and extended family members are distanced.
One, or all of these may be present due to the addictive behavior.
Treatment for Sex Addiction
What does a treatment program look like?
Individual sex addiction therapy is recommended, but some people are afraid. There is the concern that they will be viewed poorly, or the shame and guilt is too strong.
Couples counseling can take place once emotions and feelings have calmed down. We want to help you build trust and honest communication with your partner again. The best situation is that each partner has a therapist (a sex addiction specialist and a betrayal trauma therapist) as well as a couple counselor.
Attendance at some type of support group
It is important to build a strong support group. There are numerous groups or sites for you to get support that will help put you on the right track to recovery.
For example, Sex Addiction Anonymous, Celebrate Recovery, Sex and Love Addiction Anonymous. This could occur in person or with on-line groups. For the partner, there are groups through Celebrate Recovery as well. Another resource is www.bloomforwomen.com.
Self-care is important for a couple going through sex therapy. Try to exercise daily for 30 minutes, learn deep breathing, seek out friends (remaining socially supported even if you don’t share the issue), treat yourself to relaxing activities, work on a hobby. Change your mindset, the goal is to have your mind positively focused on yourself rather than the negative issues.
Have hope for your relationship
Seek a counselor that is trained in the area of sex addiction and betrayal trauma. Cheryl Camarillo, LCSW is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. There is no judgment or blame. Healing and reconnection are the goals.
Seek the next chapter in your lives together. Call or email for a 15-minute consultation- (210)262-5056, Cheryl.camarillo@yahoo.com.
